Something About Sirius
by Colour Me Astonished
Summary: When a snowball fight turns sour, and Remus alienates himself from the Marauders, how are his friends going to find out the truth of what's bothering their furry friend? Rated T for language. Please give it a read!


**Sorry I haven't updated my main story this week, but I was struck by inspiration and after reading most of the 5000 word Remus/Sirius romance stories on fanfiction, I decided to write my own. It's my first slash and I've never really written anything like this before but hey! Hope you enjoy it!**

There was just something about Sirius Black. No one could explain it, but most of the female population of the school - and some of the male too although they weren't likely to admit it any time soon -worshiped the very air he breathed. They treated him like muggles treat their pop icons, swooning when he passed, touching him, some of the bolder fourth years even asking for his autograph (of course it didn't help that he was a _Black_ and a _rebel_). All this added up to give the stunningly handsome sixth year an exceptionally large head, much to the dismay of the long-suffering Remus Lupin.

Out of all the marauders, Remus had always felt closest to Sirius - perhaps because like him, Sirius was a bit of an outcast, although from his family, not the whole of society. Remus had always envied James Potter, because he and Sirius were the very best of friends, and sometimes didn't have room for himself and Peter Pettigrew. Remus, unlike Peter, respected this however, as he realised that James was far more interesting than he was, and much more entertaining. James liked pranking and talking about girls. Remus liked reading. It was as simple as that.

On the day in question, he was curled up on his favourite loveseat in the common room, reading an epic tale of fiction which had been recommended to him by none other than Madam Pince who for some reason unbeknownst to the marauders, seemed to have a soft spot for Remus. As it was a cold winter's day, he was as close as he could get to the roaring fire, feeling quite comfortably sleepy in the calm of the empty common room – most students had returned home for the Christmas holidays the day before– that is, until he was jolted back to full consciousness by the entrance of his three best friends frosted in snow. It was an uncommon experience for James and Peter to stay behind for the holidays, but James's parents were off on holiday, and Peter did anything James did. Sirius of course, always stayed for the holidays. His family were horrible to him.

"Hey! Moony!" James called to him, clearly out of breath, "It's snowing!"

Remus glanced over the top of his book. "Really?" He said dryly, "I hadn't noticed. It's not as though you're covered in the stuff or anything!"

"Aww come on Remmy!" Sirius cried, plonking himself next to Remus and throwing an arm around his shoulders, "Stop being such a spoil sport!" He pushed his shaggy black hair away from his stunning grey eyes. "Whatcha reading?" he enquired leaning over his friend and pushing the cover back.

"A book," replied Remus, rather uncomfortably. It's not as though he didn't _like_ the attention from Sirius per se, but it was very difficult for him to have his friend in such close proximity to him. For you see, Remus was just starting to convince himself that his feelings for Sirius were entirely platonic, but the latter party was making his task altogether much harder. He shrugged off his friend resignedly.

"Ooh! A book Moony?" Sirius jeered good-naturedly, "That's me told!" He grabbed his Remus's arm and pulled him up from the seat, Remus's arm tingling from the touch. "Come on you great lump!" Remus let him pull him towards the door without protest.

ooOO0OOoo

It was a good thing for the others that he didn't really feel the cold, thought Remus, because otherwise he would probably have throttled the lot of them. He was standing a safe distance away from the snowball fight raging on, but he sure as hell wasn't enjoying himself. Stooped over, his hands in his pockets, Remus was watching his friends throw snowballs at each other, trying to watch them all indiscriminately, but nevertheless, his eyes were always dragged back to Sirius. Bloody Mutt. He was snapped out of his reverie when something freezing hit his face, Sirius had thrown it. Well, he supposed, he had to let his anger out somehow. He bent over and patted the snow together. Running forwards, he launched the snowball as hard as he could at Sirius's face. It hit true. Sirius's eyes lit up.

"It is on!" cried Sirius, wiping the snow from his face, "You're going down." He ran over and tackled Remus, shoving a handful of snow in his face. Remus could feel his friend's weight pressing down on him, feel his warmth, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss him, confess his secret. But he couldn't, so he shoved Sirius off, and leapt to his feet. Sirius rolled so he was face up, looking up at Remus like a kicked puppy.

"Sorry mate!" he said in earnest, "I didn't mean anything by it!" Remus looked down at him angrily.

"No, that's the problem," he raged, "you don't mean anything by it, you don't think, but you still manage to do the very worst possible thing no matter the situation! I'm sick fed up with you, you fucking mutt!" he gave a low growl and stalked off. He couldn't believe what he'd just done.

He didn't dare look back as he stormed back to the castle, but he knew what he would see. James and Peter would be staring after him, shock colouring their faces. Sirius would still be lying there, stunned, hurt and upset, not knowing what he'd done wrong. Heck, it wasn't even Remus's time of the month, but he was bloody well acting like it.

ooOO0OOoo

It was Lily that found him first. He was hidden in the library, curled up on a comfy chair behind a row of books, not even reading for once. Not reading, just crying silent tears. But Lily was a girl, and therefore had some sort of sixth sense for finding people who were upset.

"Hey Lils." he said dully as she approached him. James was always jealous at how close Remus and Lily were, but Remus just considered Lily his fourth best friend. He looked up, not even bothering to wipe away his tears. Lily motioned for him to shift aside a bit, and she sat down next to him on the chair, folding her arms around him.

"Hey, Remmy, don't cry. It's all gonna be OK," she whispered soothingly in his ear. He snorted with derision.

"You don't know how bad it is," was his response.

"I think I know what happened Remmy," she said softly, "and if I'm right, everything's gonna turn out fine". Another snort from the tired boy.

"I don't think you do Lils, no one knows," he sighed, burying his face in her shoulder, tears still dripping down his face.

"It's Sirius isn't it?"

Remus straightened up quickly, his expression growing sharp.

"How the hell do you know that?" he retorted sharply, terrified that she wasn't the only one who knew.

"Oh Remus!" Lily said softly, "it was obvious".

"How?"

"I've seen the way you look at him, your eyes soften and you seem so peaceful, you obviously love him".

Remus sighed. "Obviously".

"You know what you should do sweetie? You should tell him. He deserves to know why you've been acting so strangely around him. He really does care you know".

"I can't do that! He'd hate me. Our friendship is way too important".

"If you keep going the way you're going - Remmy look at me - you're not going to have much of a friendship left".

Lily's expression suddenly hardened, and Remus soon realised why. James was turning the corner. She stood up abruptly and left without saying a word. It was a testimony to Remus and James's friendship that James didn't immediately chase after Lily. Remus hastily dried his eyes on his sleeve.

"Hey, Remus mate. What happened back there?

"Nothing, why?" Remus looked up innocently. James narrowed his eyes.

"Look, mate, I'm giving you a chance to tell me straight up, or I'm gonna have to make an assumption based on the facts at hand. So I'm asking you once again, tell me what happened.

Remus was rather perturbed by James's forcefulness, but he realised that perhaps he just didn't want his friends arguing. Fair enough. Remus opted for a half truth.

"Sirius is starting to get on my nerves. He just does stuff without thinking how it will affect other people. I'm sick and fed up of him not thinking".

"Yeah I got that earlier funnily enough. I just don't think that's the real problem. Look, Moony, I know there's something you're not telling. You know you can tell me anything? I won't think the worse of you no matter what".

"I appreciate the sentiment, but you really don't seem to get it. I _can't_ tell you. You wouldn't understand".

"Jeez mate, if you can tell Evans, you can tell me!" Remus could tell that James was hurting and trying not to show it. "I'm your best friend Moony. Don't forget that," he sighed, walking away from the bookshelves and away from his friend.

ooOO0OOoo

That night, Remus snuck up to bed long after his dorm mates were asleep, and he roused himself hours before any of them were awake. If he played his cards right, he could avoid them all day. Alas, his solitude was not meant to be, and just as he was leaving breakfast, he bumped into James, Peter and Sirius. Next thing he knew, he was being frogmarched back to the Gryffindor table.

"Right, Moony. James says there's something you're not telling us". Sirius looked at him expectantly.

"And if I'm not telling James, you really think I'll tell you?" Remus queried frostily. Sirius looked taken aback.

"Remus, mate, you know you can tell us anything?"

"Apparently I can't". He stormed from the Great Hall.

His fulgurant anger vanished as soon as he exited the Hall. He proceeded down a few more corridors and curled up into a ball. He wasn't ready to face the world.

"Really Remus? This again?" The unmistakeable voice of Lily Evans. "I'm ashamed to know you Remus, you need to face up to your fears, or at the very least apologise to your friends".

Sniffing, Remus looked up to see a very scary looking Lils. "They'll hate me".

"No they bloody well will not!" Lily grabbed his arm. That's it. We're going to see them right now, and you're going to apologise!"

"Lils –"

"Don't you 'Lils' me you great coward!"

Remus was silent. He let her drag him back to the common room. He was lucky he'd finished all his essays during the week, or else his schoolwork would be suffering as well as his feelings.

ooOO0OOoo

Remus let Lily heave him through the portrait hole. He wasn't putting up any resistance, but he also wasn't helping matters.

"You... have... no idea... how HEAVY... you are," Lily puffed. She gave him one final shove and he toppled forwards onto one of the sofas.

"James Potter, you get your arrogant arse over here right now!" she yelled tugging Peter with one hand and Sirius with the other. James looked up stunned.

"W... wh... what's going on. Evans?"

"POTTER! HERE! NOW!"

James, looking slightly shell-shocked, made his way over to the group.

"Now you lot aren't getting out of here until you fix all your problems with Remus. Goodbye!" and the door to the girls' dorm crashed shut.

"What the hell was that about?" Peter wondered.

Remus buried his face in the cushions.

"Remus, mate. Seriously, this is getting old. Just tell us whatever is making you act so weird and we'll leave you be".

"It's not that simp-"

"How much more simple does it get!" yelled Sirius. "You are treading all over my last nerve!"

"James-" Peter started.

"Not now Pete!" James continued to glare at Remus.

"James –"

"What?!" Peter thrust a bottle into James's hand. James looked down and a slow smile broke out on his face. He suddenly lunged for Remus and tipped his head up. After a brief struggle, he managed to get some of the contents of the bottle down Remus's throat.

Remus spluttered clutching his throat as James sat back on his heels satisfied.

"What was that?!" he choked out.

"Truth Serum". James said grimly satisfied.

"That's really dishonest! You shouldn't have done that!"

"Well, at least now _you_ can't be dishonest".

Remus crossed the room and tugged on the door to the boys' dorms. It wouldn't budge. Curse Lily's comprehensiveness.

He turned round to his friends and looked them dead in the eye. "Fine." He sat down again on the sofa. "Ask away, but be prepared to hate me".

"Remus. Why did you get angry after the snowball fight?" Sirius questioned.

"I had been trying to convince myself I no longer had feelings for you but you insisted on jumping on me". He didn't want to look at his friends. He heard the gasps well enough, and the next question, once again from Sirius had a strained quality to it.

"So... you have feelings for me?"

"Yes. In fact I rather think I love you". He couldn't stop the words coming out.

"How long?"

"Since third year".

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"James, Pete, could you give us some privacy?" Sirius asked in the same strained voice.

"Sure man".

Sirius heard the two jump to their feet. He felt Sirius sit next to him on the sofa. He still refused to look up.

"Remus, why didn't you tell me?" Sirius asked gently.

"Because I thought you'd hate me!"

"I could never hate you".

"Really?" Remus hazarded a glance at his friend. He was wearing a strange expression.

"Really. And I'll prove it". At that Remus sat up, just in time for Sirius to place a hand on his cheek and lean in to kiss him. Seconds later, Sirius pulled away, resting his forehead against Remus's.

"I could never hate you, because I love you".

Remus paused for one second, then pounced on Sirius, kissing him with all the feeling he'd had bottled up in him for three years. However, Sirius and Remus had been so wrapped up in each other, they hadn't noticed that their two friends hadn't managed to escape the room yet.

"Come on guys! Wait until we're gone at least!"

"Stop!"

Remus pulled away long enough to say "Ignore them", and with an aptly wolfish grin, he proceeded to ignore his friends cries.

"Get a room!"

"LILY GET US OUT OF HERE!"

"UNLOCK THE DOOR!"

Remus could have sworn he heard laughter from behind the door.

ooOO0OOoo

There was just something about Sirius Black. No one could explain it, but most of the female population of the school - and some of the male too, especially since Sirius had come out of the closet -worshiped the very air he breathed. They treated him like muggles treat their pop icons, swooning when he passed, touching him, some of the bolder fourth years even asking for his autograph (of course it didn't help that he was a _Black_ and a _rebel_). All this added up to give the stunningly handsome sixth year an exceptionally large head, much to the amusement of his boyfriend Remus Lupin.

**Reviews are lovely! *subtle hint* You know I love you!**


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